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Praying for God’s Will

A few weeks ago, our daughter had an odor coming from her head. It seemed weird, but wouldn’t go away. I eventually identified that it was coming from her ear…This again! But I’ve been through this before. I know that stinky ears for my children are a sign of an ear infection, but we were all out of the medicated ear drops to treat it. So, a physician’s appointment needed to be scheduled. From there we were referred to an ENT, who alleviated any concern about her ear (the drops worked) and educated me on her enlarged adenoids that should be removed “sooner rather than later.”

Being mom & manager of my house, I knew our insurance was ending at the end of the month. So, unless this was happening in the next two weeks…it wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. The doctor’s benefits coordinator phoned me to explain that if she can have the surgery before the end of the month, there would be no cost to the family. However, after that, we would have to meet the deductible again. She went on to say, the doctor could conduct the surgery the following Friday. “Great! Let’s get her booked” was my immediate response.

Two days later, I went to the surgeon’s office to provide a release for his office to speak with her Hematologist’s office. While there, I was told that in fact, the surgery would have to be rescheduled to the following Tuesday, due to some concerns and to ensure she can get the best treatment & aftercare. “Great! Let’s get her booked,” seems like they’re taking extra precautions and as a parent, I can appreciate that.

The Friday before the Tuesday surgery, I’m on the phone with the admissions nurse answering questions and she’s asking if the doctor has arranged a follow-up and if the doctor has a Hematologist arranged to be at the hospital during or immediately following the surgery. All questions I didn’t have answers to; but thought, “Isn’t that his responsibility to coordinate?” By the end of the business day, the surgery was off. The Doctor’s office called and said he would not perform the surgery and referred me to ENT surgeons affiliated with the local children’s hospital.

Anger & disappointment does not even begin to explain how I felt. But after letting those emotions pass, the Social Worker Mom kicked in & I started working for my little girl. I was all in and all ready to do whatever it took to try to make this happen in 10 calendar days. The next Monday, she and I had the last appointment with one of the doctors we were referred to. This lady was kind but to the point. She took one look at the medical records I had in my hand (the same information had been provided to the previous surgeon) and let me know there was little to no chance my little girl was going to have this surgery in my time frame.

Her Hematologist has privileges to with one hospital and the ENT had privileges with another. To have the surgery, both doctors needed to be in the same hospital group. Feeling defeated & frustrated, I grabbed my little girl’s hand and we headed out to the parking garage. Walking out, I phoned the ENT she’d referred me to; this should be it… my last call, our last chance at getting this done (and saving money). I made the call, the scheduler was able to get us an appointment for the next afternoon. I explained to her our time crunch and she typed a note into the system. We went home, had dinner and planned to see one more doctor the next day.

While eating dinner with our youngest two that night (our daughter 1-week shy of 4 and our son – almost 2), The Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, ‘He won’t even remember her’. I was not confused at all, I knew exactly what that meant. I picked up my phone and texted my husband, who was working late, my text read: “Hey it just came to me, I think I want to skip out on the surgery…but I need you to pray for confirmation, clarity & discernment.”

After I sent it, I started to argue with myself, “but the money” “but it’s not necessary right now” “but when will we meet another deductible”. I had to stop, I was getting nowhere. When my husband got home later that night, we discussed it and the conversation was short. He said, “Pray that if God want’s this to happen everything tomorrow will go smooth and align well.”We prayed that night.

I prayed the next morning as I prepared for work. “Lord, if this is Your Will, remove every barrier and wall that may be in place. But if my little girl won’t survive this, be whole and healthy, make it hard tomorrow, present another obstacle.” And that was it. We were off to get on with the day. My husband met me at the daycare for the two little ones after dropping our oldest son to school. As we were walking out, I received a call from the new surgeon’s surgical nurse. He had no availability to do the surgery for 3 months.

That was it!!

That was an obstacle. I thanked her for her call and asked her to cancel our appointment for that afternoon. She started to offer me to go on the stand-by list. I stated “no thank you, I prayed about this and this does not seem to be God’s will for her right now. You just presented me another obstacle. We’ll pass, but thank you.”

My husband followed me to the car, I was becoming teary-eyed. I told him about the call and explained that my tears were of joy. That we might have lost our little girl with this surgery; if not for God.

As I cried in his arms I whispered, I’m so glad I have a prayer life!